Positively Talk to Yourself!

The idea of looking at a person’s strengths to facilitate recovery although fairly new has been around in one shape or form for a while. Care providers are being taught about the language of recovery and how to find the strengths the individual already has. The idea is to take these strengths and build upon them.
More and more providers are working to make their services recovery oriented; including increasing the amount of recovery-oriented language that is used. Many of us who have been on the receiving end of services notice the differences and are quick to point out those aspects that are not recovery-oriented. What we often don’t think about is how recovery-oriented we are about ourselves.
Just as providers are learning how important the language used when talking to a person dealing with mental health challenges the “self-talk” we use with ourselves is also important. So, what is “self-talk” anyway? Self-talk is that little chatter that goes on in our minds as we go through our day. Self-talk can be positive and uplifting, but in many cases self-talk ends up being just the opposite.
Negative self-talk often develops from outer criticisms we’ve heard throughout our life. Over time this criticism becomes like a tape recording that repeats over and over in our heads. We get so used to this negative self-talk being there that we often are not even aware of its presence. Whether we’re aware or not this negative self-talk has a real effect on us. It can make us feel unmotivated, lower the quality of our life, contribute to depression, and even make us more susceptible to physical ailments.
The good news is it’s possible to change the negative self-talk tapes into positive ones. But, it takes some work. The first step is to tune into your thoughts. Pay attention to the things you think as you go through your day. How are you perceiving the things in your life now? What are you predicting for your future? Notice each thought and feeling. Write down the negative self-talk patterns you notice yourself using.
Once you have become aware of your specific negative self-talk you’re ready to work to break the negative self-talk pattern. Whenever you notice yourself falling into the pattern of negative self-talk picture a stop sign and think STOP! Then think about the negative thought and replace it with a positive one. Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this!” say “I can do this!” You could also think of exceptions that make a negative thought untrue. If your thought is “I never succeed.” Think of the times you have succeeded such as getting a job or passing a test. Negative self-talk can also be defeated by making an effort to think self affirming thoughts, repeating uplifting phrases to yourself, and through various spiritual traditions.
The key is to practice. Negative self-talk has gained power over time and through repetition. Just as in the development of any other skill, positive self-talk becomes easier over time with practice. If you find yourself slipping into old habits don’t dwell on it. Come up with a positive answer for the problem and move on. The more you work on positive self-talk the easier it becomes.